Early in my career, my boss suggested that the nerves I felt in advance of any presentation or speech I was giving were just my body’s way of preparing. To which I said, I’d rather not prepare this way!
I suspect many of you know this kind of nervousness. It may come on before a big test or a presentation in front of the CEO. It may even hit you prior to speaking up in a meeting. The nerves come on like small butterflies in the stomach and may develop into nausea or violently shaking hands. While I enjoy speaking in front of people, I have always dreaded the “preparation” element of the experience. That is, until I read an article on this very topic. The recommendation from the writer was to make the nerves your friend. I have written about our ability to choose a different perspective; however I had not thought about or was unwilling to use this approach when it came to my public speaking nerves.
Since reading the article, as I felt my nerves coming on, I acknowledged them and then reframed them. They were not there because I was afraid. My nerves were a sign that I was excited. They were there as a source of energy during my speech and created a connection between me and my audience. I spoke these words out loud as I drove to my destination. I affirmed that I was unafraid. And, you know, it worked! Instead of dwelling on the giant winged creatures banging around in my stomach, I focused on how excited I was about giving the speech and anticipated the inevitable high I would get when the speech was done.
If the way you “prepare” is by getting nervous, you may try reframing and choosing another perspective, or practice the following:
- Breathe deeply – I have heard this a lot, but until I tried it, I did not realize how helpful it could be. It naturally slows down your mind and your nerves and helps you focus. I add to this a phrase spoken as I breathe in and then breathe out. It might sound like this: “I breathe in confidence, I breathe out fear.” The appropriate words for your situation may make this deep breathing even more effective for you.
- Know your stuff – Whether your fear comes on prior to a big presentation or in a staff meeting, it is critical that you know what you’re talking about. We know that practicing a speech is important, but have you thought of preparing for a meeting in a similar fashion? Review the meeting topic(s), clarify the points of view you expect other participants to have and then define your own point of view. Whether a speech, a meeting, or a networking event, being fluent in what you want to communicate is critical.
- Realize that everyone else has their own fears – I find that looking people in the eyes when I am speaking is more encouraging than it is intimidating. Generally people want you to succeed, in part because they know how hard what you are doing can be. If they happen to be fabulously composed when speaking in front of a group, realize there are other things that frighten them. We are all pushing through our own perceived shortcomings.
Reframing my nervous feelings as an ally, rather than something to be fought against, has changed fear into positive energy for me. What can it do for you?
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